By Sean Fahey True story: back in the day, we used to tear down and repair mechanical keyboards (key caps and key switches) because they were expensive ($200-$300 for a new KB), and because getting an authorization from the bureaucracy to buy a replacement was a tedious and slow process. We had heaps of broken keyboards to rob parts from but occasionally we’d end up putting a refurbished keyboard out with a substitute key, i.e. more than one “S” key because we didn’t have a direct replacement for the original broken cap. Different brands using different switches compounded the problem.
Breaking a cap takes a lot of force, so naturally I was flabbergasted at how often these things happen. Some of the more famous were:
A unit secretary constantly snacked while working on her computer so crumbs and debris tended to collect inside the keyboard. It was only a matter of time before ants found the cache and began to foray to collect what they could. At first the secretary was oblivious to the problem, but one day looked down to see hundreds of tiny ants crawling all over her keyboard! According to witnesses, she excitedly and very loudly shouted a few colorful metaphors, grabbed the nearest thing she could find and started whacking the heck out of the keyboard. The object at hand was an employee achievement trophy (it was actually pretty heavy). Many ants died that day, but so did about 20 key caps. That KB took hours to rebuild… and it’s a good thing she could touch type, because when she got it back, it looked more like some alien language than QWERTY. I didn’t have the right key caps for a proper layout, so there were a lot of Q, X, Z and other lesser used key caps on the KB.
Another user spilled a 32oz cup of Mt. Dew on her keyboard. This sort of thing happened more frequently than you’d think (or want) but liquids aren’t that bad to clean out of a mechanical switch… as long as you know what you’re doing. This user didn’t want to get into trouble, so instead of calling me or my boss, she decided to clean the keyboard herself by rinsing it in the bathroom sink (to get rid of the sticky pop residue) and then dry it… in the unit oven. I guess because a hair dryer wasn’t available. A keyboard baked at 350 degrees for 45 minutes makes for a melty keyboard. She got into trouble anyway. <shrug>
What do you do when a stray raccoon sneaks into your office? Why, you grab your trusty $300 keyboard and start swinging… never mind, it’s still connected to the $2500 computer, which is sliding dangerously close to falling off the desk with every flail. During the ensuing panic, the raccoon won (it got away), the computer and keyboard lost. I had to replace the keyboard and repair the keyboard port on the PC. Yes, this actually happened.